I’ve never
understood the appeal of bad boys. I’m just not attracted to them.
You won’t see me as a groupie for some struggling future rock god.
In college I avoided the frat guys and their ‘no girls allowed’ bro
culture. Even as a kid I preferred Luke Skywalker to Han Solo. So I
thought I would be able to go my whole dating life without succumbing to the
allure of the bad boy. I thought I was immune. I thought wrong.
Two years ago
I ventured into the world of online dating and for the first time I encountered
a very specific breed of man who while not truly ‘bad’ is at least bad for
me. I call them the “nomadic adventurer”. I’ve dated several of
these guys and discovered that they are my kryptonite.
My encounters
with them start promisingly enough. We meet online and go on a few dates.
I find out that they live alone. Cool, I also live alone so no roommate
arrangements to work around. I find out that they like to be
outdoors. Perfect, I love all sorts of hiking, camping and canoeing.
I find out that they like to travel. Amazing, I’m always coming up with
new places I want to visit. At this point, I’m smitten and ready to start
dating in earnest. But then, BOOM, they decide they aren’t ready for a
relationship until they fulfill their dreams of climbing Everest or free diving
with Great Whites or something. Then why are you on Match.com now?!?
I shouldn’t
really be surprised that I’m a sucker for this type of guy though. A few
years ago I became obsessed with a show on the SyFy channel called Destination Truth. I became
particularly enamored with the charismatic host Josh Gates. So much so
that I often refer to him as ‘my boyfriend Josh Gates’. You guys, Josh is
awesome. He scuba dives, rides horses, rappels into volcanoes and
fearlessly pursues potentially dangerous creatures every day. He’s like a real
life Indiana Jones. Swoon. But he is also the epitome of the
nomadic adventurer type who I’m trying so hard to avoid. In his book Destination Truth: Memoirs of a Monster
Hunter he talks about how once you start traveling it becomes
addictive. He also says that his lifestyle “requires a terrible
downsizing of family and friends”. Yikes. This is exactly the
attitude that I need to avoid because it is in direct conflict with my own
desires for domesticity. Yes, I bought his book. What? I
wanted to know if he had a girlfriend.
The thing
about these guys is that they might actually be perfect boyfriends and husbands
for equally free-spirited woman. But that isn’t me. When I picture
myself travelling in the future I see myself with my husband and possibly kids
(if they are old enough and sturdy). I imagine navigating the streets of
Paris hand in hand with my man and stopping to duck into a little café or wander
through a park. Or snuggling around a campfire with my husband and kids
while we tell ghost stories and make s’mores. But these guys don’t think
like that. They are the lone wolf types who go camping with just a
sleeping bag and a bottle of water. Who can pack up their entire life on
a moment’s notice and move to Japan just because they had a fight with their
boss. One guy even told me that if
commercial space travel ever became possible he would gladly leave his family
for months to go to the moon even if there was a strong possibility he might
never come back. Yep, that one was a keeper.
Now, I
understand that not all guys who like to travel fall into this category.
Many men make wonderful partners and still have a taste for adventure.
But if you are looking for a relationship and encounter a man who’s username is
something like FreeLiving4Life or AdventureMan69 run in the other
direction. Run extra fast if his profile pictures include 12 shots of
Tibet and none of his friends or family. Break the sound barrier if he
refers to himself as “just a crazy wanderer on this awesome planet of ours”.
Trust me on this one.
If anyone
knows Josh Gates though, feel free to give him my number. A girl can
dream, can’t she?
